


No We’re Not Adopting! (Or Kidnapping!)

by Kereea



Series: ASL In Red [21]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-13 10:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9120115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kereea/pseuds/Kereea
Summary: The Whitebeard Remnant found a kid from Wano who says Kaido took it over. The Straw Hearts therefore find themselves with a new ward, Ace and Marco deny engaging in pirate-adoption, and Momonosuke’s actual guardians assume he’s being held hostage.Just a normal week, really.





	1. Momonosuke the Brat

 Marco and Ace had gotten impatient and flown ahead, arriving at Punk Hazard a few days before the others were expected. They’d been hoping for a bit of alone time and for Marco to recalibrate back to being with his crew.

 It turned out it would give them time to figure out just what the hell was going on here.

 “…What is this?” Marco asked.

 “Marco, you’re an older sibling. You should know what a kid is,” Ace said.

 “I meant what is he doing here?” Marco asked, shooting Ace an annoyed look.

 “Oh, I can explain,” Izo said.

  _Izo blinked, “Why are you in my room?”_

_“We found this kid on patrol,” Namur said. “Just drifting alone.”_

_“…Good for you. I was sleeping.”_

_“But Izo, he’s wearing the sort of stuff you wear!” Haruta said. “We thought you might be from the same place!”_

_“Mm-hm,” Izo yawned. “You from Wano, kid?”_

_The kid nodded._

_“Great,” Izo said. “Now avert your eyes, okay?”_

 “And so after a scene of unimaginable violence I learned his name was Momonosuke and he fled Wano when it allegedly fell to Kaido,” Izo concluded.

 “Izo, I’m your big brother. I can imagine that violence just fine,” Marco said.

 Momonosuke looked between Ace and Marco warily. Marco guessed he was maybe six or seven. Knowing how brutal Izo could get when woken up suddenly, he wondered how the hell the kid had come to trust his fellow from Wano. “Hi. I’m Marco, yoi. This is Ace.”

 “Are you pirates too?” Momonosuke asked.

 “Yep. I’m Izo’s captain,” Marco said. “Ace is my boyfriend, he’s on another crew. They own this island.”

 “Yeah, we just live here,” Izo admitted with a shrug. “But we’re good tenants so the landlords are nice about it.”

 “Yeah, your rent is keeping it in one piece. And…locking up Reiju, I guess,” Ace said. “Got a room, Momonosuke?”

 “Well, no. He’s sort of just been skulking around until he passes out,” Izo said. “Then whoever finds him throws him on my bed.”

 “Izo. I know you know more about childcare than that,” Marco sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Monkey. D. Garp probably knows more about childcare than that…”

 “Yeah, not really,” Ace said. “Shanks did, Grandpa not so much. Remember: bandit babysitters.”

 “How did I forget?” Marco asked.

 “I don’t know because you seemed pretty invested when I was telling you the first time,” Ace said before dropping down to a crouch in front of Momonosuke. “So kiddo, they don’t know to give you a bedtime around here, huh?”

 “I’m a samurai, we don’t have bedtimes,” Momonosuke said.

 “Bullshit, bet you’re supposed to be early to bed and rise with the sun or something,” Ace said.

 “This frozen rock doesn’t get much sun,” Momonosuke complained.

 “Yeah, true,” Ace agreed. “But it has clocks! So we’ll figure out a bedtime for you that way!”

 “Ace, he doesn’t exactly stay in bed,” Izo said.

 “You’re pirates capable of kicking everyone in Paradise around like soccer balls,” Ace said. “You _make_ the kid stay in bed. Duh.”

 “You can’t make me do anything,” Momonosuke said.

 Ace grinned, “Wanna bet?”

 Marco shuddered, “Ace, he’s like seven, remember?”

 “Chill, Marco. I got this,” Ace said. “So I say your bedtime is…eight-thirty, okay?”

 Momonosuke glared and kicked Ace in the crotch, only to yelp and lunge back as his sandal caught fire as it passed right through Ace.

 “See? Got this,” Ace said smugly, grabbing Momonosuke’s foot and smothering the flames with his bare hands. “Where’d you guys move medical? Kid probably needs bandages from that…”

 “You know what? I’m not as worried about leaving him with you two anymore,” Izo chuckled. “Time someone put that kid in his place. Look out, he bites too.”

Marco followed Ace to the infirmary, smirking at the indignant kid swung over Ace’s shoulder, “So you know what to do with this one from experience or something?”

 “Personal experience. Of course, I was way worse than him,” Ace said proudly. “Shanks and Benn grounded me so much. You have no idea.”

 “Yes I do. You brag. A lot,” Marco said. He smirked at Momonosuke’s confused expression, “Yeah that’s right, we were your age once.”

 “Marco was like a billion years ago though,” Ace said, plopping Momonosuke down on a table and digging around for some burn cream.

 “Oi!” Marco yelled. “I’m in my thirties asshole—ow!”

 “You’re _not supposed_ to swear around kids. I think it’s bad for them…” Ace mused.

 “Ace. I love you, and you’re an idiot,” Marco said, making Momonosuke laugh before he whined as Ace pulled off his charred sandal.

 “And what have we learned?” Ace asked.

 Momonosuke glared, “Don’t kick a fire demon in the crotch even if he deserves it?”

 Ace stiffened a bit at being called a demon but quickly recovered with a broad smile, “Exactly!”

 “Don’t call Ace a demon, he’s human like you are,” Marco said.

 “Birdie’s right,” Ace agreed, looking relieved. “Of course you seem like a little hell raiser to me so maybe…”

 “So he’s a bird? He doesn’t look like one,” Momonosuke said.

 “I’m a zoan user,” Marco said. “Know what that is?”

 “You…use specific places?” Momonosuke asked as Ace finished bandaging his foot.

 “No, a Zoan Devil Fruit,” Marco said.

 “Oh, a sorcerer’s fruit, yeah. They let you do magic but then you can’t swim for shit!” Momonosuke said brightly.

 “…Sure, yoi. That works,” Marco sighed as Ace laughed. “Stop laughing, it’ll only encourage him to swear more.”

 “So you do fire magic and you do bird magic?” Momonosuke asked.

 “Close enough,” Marco said.

 “I want to see bird magic!” Momonosuke said, jumping to his feet before grabbing his injured foot and almost falling over. Ace steadied him.

 “Easy kid,” Ace said. “Maybe if you’re really good Marco will show you something but right now we’re hungry-”

 “ _We_ are?” Marco asked.

 “-so it’s time for lunch,” Ace said, rolling his eyes. “What do you eat?”

 “Anything.”

 “Kid after my own heart,” Ace said, swinging Momonosuke back over his shoulder.

 “Well I was kind of starving when I got here,” Momonosuke said.

 “…How long were you on the island before someone found you?” Marco asked.

 “Dunno. No sun, remember?” Momonosuke said.

 “Oh shit…and you feel pretty light…” Ace said.

 “Ace you’re insanely strong. _I_ feel light to you,” Marco pointed out.

 “Oh right…you try,” Ace said, passing Momonosuke to him.

 “He’s fine,” Marco said, rolling his eyes as Momonosuke stuck his tongue out. “Let’s see what’s available in the kitchens then.”

.o.o.o.

 “Aw, he sounds adorable,” Sabo said.

 “He even bites like you used to! Are you keeping him?” Luffy asked.

 “We just met him!” Ace protested, the snail glaring at his brothers for him. “Anyway, do any of you know much about Wado? Izo hasn’t been since he was a kid and we’re trying not to question Momo too much since he gets really shaky.”

 “Think something bad happened to him?” Luffy asked.

 “Lu, he ended up here, alone, because a freak storm smashed his escape boat to bits,” Ace said. “We already know some bad shit’s happened.”

 “Well, _more_ bad! Stupid Ace,” Luffy muttered.

 “Stupid little brother!” Ace shot back.

 “Shut up, stop it, you’re _both_ stupid,” Sabo sighed. “Okay, so look into Wado and Kaido taking it over for you?”

 “Yeah, the Whitebeards have already been poking around for info but the guys who went to the nearest island with a bar won’t be back for-”

 Suddenly the snail’s face changed, “Hey, what’s this? Who are you talking to?”

 “I’m Monkey D. Luffy! I’m going to be King of the Pirates!” Luffy said. “And Sabo, he’s gonna…well, still be Sabo, I guess?”

 Sabo glared at him before looking at the snail, “Momonosuke, I presume?”

 “Yeah! And why’s Ace calling you?”

 “They’re my brothers, I talk to them. It’s sort of a thing,” Ace said. “Look, if we don’t find anything in a few days maybe you should check with Benn, he usually knows stuff.”

 “Yeah, sounds good. Should probably tell Law’s dads too, Rocinante’s a spy-guy and spy-guys need info so even if he doesn’t have info for us, us giving him info is good too!” Luffy said.

 “Spy?” Momonosuke asked.

 “Yeah, a nosy person. Like some kids I could name—ow! You little!”

 Sabo and Luffy listed to some crashes and Ace yelping over the transponder before the snail’s eyes dipped to half-mast, “Sorry for the ruckus, yoi. Ace is trying to figure out how to pin the kid without hurting him.”

 “How’s he hitting a logia?” Luffy asked. “Can Momo use Haki already?”

 “Nah, but he found a squirt gun and Ace can’t turn bits of him to fire if they’re too wet…” Marco sighed. “Ace already burnt Momonosuke’s foot once and—hey! You two knock it off! Ace you are almost twenty-two, be the fucking _adult_!”

 “Should we leave you to your tortured babysitting?” Sabo asked.

 “Yeah, given I’m clearly watching two kids instead of one,” Marco said.

 “Hey!” Ace complained before the call cut.

 Luffy and Sabo looked at each other and burst out laughing. To them this was obviously karma for Ace’s brattiest days as a kid.

.o.o.o.

 “What’s Haki?” Momonosuke asked for the umpteenth time. “I don’t want to get set on fire, what’s Haki?”

 “You don’t want to get set on fire? Don’t hit me,” Ace said flatly as he dropped Momonosuke back in bed. “And stop leaving your room. It’s midnight, brat.”

 Momonosuke stuck his tongue out.

 “Come on, we’ve chased you four times by now, you’re just messing your foot up more…” Ace said.

 “You’re the idiot who burnt it!”

 “Yeah, so you learn not to kick people you don’t know!” Ace said. “Besides, it was only a little burn, you’re the dumb kid who keeps walking on it! Oh crap. I’m arguing with an eight year old. Dad is never going to let me with this down…”

 “I’m still not sleeping in this stupid room!” Momonosuke said.

 “It’s a nice room!” Ace said.

 “It’s stupid and dark and it makes creepy noises!” Momonosuke said.

 “Oh,” Ace said, realizing the actual problem. Momonosuke was scared. Right, right, island got taken over by Kaido, probably traumatized and shit…oh. Oh! That was why he wasn’t sleeping much! And why he got mad when people tried to put him to bed!

 Did all people watching kids get epiphanies like this? Ace didn’t know. “So you won’t sleep in here?”

 “That’s _right_!” Momonosuke said imperiously.

 “Okay,” Ace said.

 “Okay?” Momonosuke asked.

 “Yeah, okay, come on,” Ace said, picking him up. “You’re coming with me.”

 “Where are we going?” Momonosuke asked.

 “A room that’s not creepy or cold or lonely or whatever. And can get lit up whenever you need, okay?” Ace asked. He pushed open the door to his and Marco’s room.

 “You finally catch him?” Marco yawned.

 “Yep,” Ace said, tossing Momonosuke on the bed. “There he is.”

 “…Ace, what are you doing?” Marco asked as Momonosuke looked between them, confused.

 “Momo doesn’t like the dark,” Ace said, hitting the light switch while igniting his other arm at the same time. “But you and me can light a place up whenever we want. Problem solved.”

 “Sound good to you kid? Can just wake one of us up if it gets scary,” Marco said.

 Momonosuke huffed, “I’m not scared.”

 “Okay then, the room’s still not going to be creepy like you says yours is though,” Ace said, extinguishing the flames.

 He heard Momonosuke yelp and Marco huff at the sound of an impact. He re-lit his hand—Momonosuke was clinging to Marco.

 “…I’m not scared, I just…think it’s safer with you when I can’t see,” Momonosuke muttered into Marco’s shoulder.

 “Sounds like a good tactical plan then,” Marco said, patting him on the head.

 “Yeah, you’re one smart kid,” Ace agreed. He fought down a laugh as he realized Benn had done this to him dozens of times, let him think something was his own idea or that people believed his crazy little kid excuses.

 Shanks probably had bought some of them. He and Luffy were silly like that.

 It took a lot of moving about for everyone to be comfortable. Momonosuke pretty much wanted to lay on top of Marco but Marco said the kid was heavier than he looked so Momo had to move to the side and that was where Ace was used to being so Ace had to scoot but then Momo kind of wanted to cuddle with Ace because he was warmer than Marco and eventually everyone got settled and the kid knocked out.

 “I’m pretty sure this is how Shanks and Benn must have felt putting up with me and my brothers 24-7,” Ace sighed, smiling.

 “Maybe, yoi,” Marco chuckled. “He’s a handful…and a good kid when you stick around.”

 “Yeah…we’re not keeping him, right?”

 “I don’t think we could,” Marco said. “We have to get him somewhere safer, figure out what’s going on with Wano and Kaido. Still…nice to play big brother to a little kid again. It’s been a while.”

 “Yeah, same,” Ace said. “…Hey, Marco?”

 “Yeah?”

 Ace frowned pensively, teeth worrying at his lower lip, “How did, I mean…how did your pops know he wanted kids?”

 “Not sure, really. He just did,” Marco admitted. “I just…I’d been lonely for a long time and a family sounded nice so when he asked I stayed. I think Thatch joined up because we had food.”

 Ace snorted. “Really now?”

 “You know how he was.”

 “Yeah…we need to figure out how to murder Teach.”

 “We really do. But why’d you ask about kids?”

 “I don’t know just…you know. Stuff you talk about. When you’re with someone.”

 “Let’s get Momo handled first. Then we’ll look into if we ever want kids.”

 “Night Marco. Love you.”

 “Love you too, Ace.”

.o.o.o.

 “These are the remains of his raft,” Kanjuro said. “Momonosuke must be here.”

 “We’ll have to be careful,” Kin’emon said, glancing at the sign on the shore.

  _Welcome to Punk Hazard, Property of the ~~Straw Heart~~ Straw Hat and Heart Pirates and in the custody of the Whitebeard Pirates._ Three Jolly Rogers were on the sign followed by a crude smiley face.

 “Hopefully the prince hasn’t been captured,” Kanjuro said.

 “That would be preferable to dead from the cold,” Kin’emon replied. “Come. We’ll find shelter to use as a base and then spread out our search from there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to a bit of lighter fare as Ace and Marco find themselves the temporary parents of Momonosuke...at least until the other samurai catch up.


	2. Momonosuke the Pirate

 “So we got some new info on The Green Bull when we were out,” Raykuyo said.

 “Who’s that?” Ace asked with his mouth still mostly full of eggs. Raykuyo’s division had got back in last night, but he’d waited until breakfast to report. Some saint had explained to him that keeping Momonosuke asleep was more important than any information that wasn’t life-or-death.

 “Chew, Portgas,” Marco said, rolling his eyes. “The Green Bull. One of the two new Admirals. Aokiji left and Akainu got promoted. So Fujitora and Ryokugyu are the new ones.”

 “Ah. Green Bull. So who is he?” Ace asked.

 “She,” Raykuyo said.

 “…I thought bulls were guys,” Ace said. “Like, bulls are guys, cows are girls, right?”

 “Yeah but nobody’s stupid enough to call an Admiral-tier lady a _cow_ ,” Marco chuckled, drawing snickers from Momonosuke. Marco patted him on the head.

 Ace put his fork down, “So…what’s her power? Another logia? Paramecia?”

 “Zoan,” Raykuyo said. “Mythical Zoan, like Marco’s, though hers is a big cow-bull-whatever thing.”

 “It’s called a minotaur, Raykuyo,” Marco said. “Half bull, half human. I know that sounds like it should be the in-between of a Bull Zoan but it’s not. Also she’s the opposite of your crew’s swordsman on direction—can find her way anywhere.”

 “What?” Ace asked.

 “Phoenixes regenerate in fire. Buddha has impregnable defenses. And minotaurs, according to myths, used to hunt people down in mazes. So they never get lost and have super tracking skills,” Marco said. “I’m sure there’s some other extra powers thrown in for fun, too…but yeah, makes her a pain in the ass. Hard to avoid her patrols. She doesn’t bother with pirate bases out of some weird sense of manners or whatever—if she comes she’s our guest and has to behave properly or something.”

 “Weird,” Ace said. “Of course almost everyone that powerful is weird so…you know. Makes me feel sorry for Fujitora being sane, that can’t be fun.”

 “He probably handles it the same way Marco does,” Izo said.

 “He can’t turn into a bird and peck people,” Ace pointed out. Marco kicked him.

 “You still haven’t shown me any bird magic. Just weird blue fire stuff so you don’t get hurt,” Momonosuke complained.

 “That’s part of the bird magic, yoi,” Marco said. “Still, give Ryokugyu a wide birth if you can, everyone. At least until we know who among us can counter her.”

 “Got it, captain,” Haruta chirped. “So, Momo, like those new omelets? I think the cooks outdid themselves with this weird new pepper stuff.”

 “I don’t like pepper,” Momonosuke said, pointing at his own scrambled eggs with bacon.

 “Oh, pity. Pepper makes food awesome!” Haruta said.

 “You mean salt,” Izo said.

 “Salt is for the weak, princess,” Haruta replied, ducking Izo’s fan as it swung for his head. “Ha-ha, missed!”

 “Quit setting a bad example,” Ace said.

 “Yeah, that’s for Ace to do when his brothers get here!” Jozu said.

 Ace growled at him. Marco smirked, “Now who’s setting a bad example?”

 Ace sighed, “Childcare is hard, ok-”

 “ _AHHHH_!” Momonosuke screamed as Ace fell onto the table.

 “Relax, he does this sometimes. It’s called narcolepsy,” Marco said.

 “He’s dead!” Momonosuke screamed, leaping to his feet.

 “Momo, chill, he’s asleep. It happens,” Haruta said, pulling out a camera Den-Den Mushi to snap a photo of Ace with eggs in his hair and his cheek in bacon grease.

 “Momo, it’s okay,” Marco said, pulling Momonosuke into his lap as the child started breathing heavily. “I promise, yoi, Ace is fine.”

 “But…but he just…what if he’s poisoned?” Momonosuke asked, arms flailing. Marco sighed and pinned them.

 “…By who?” Izo asked, gesturing to the dining hall dryly.

 “Anybody!” Momonosuke said. “People poison food all the time! It’s a _thing_!”

 Marco frowned. What seven year old was that concerned about poisoned food? Well, there were all those kids’ stories where someone poisoned or drugged just dropped mid-sentence so maybe that was it…

 “What’s all the ruckus?” Ace yawned, sitting up and wiping his face off with his napkin.

 “You got eggs in your hair and gave Momonosuke a heart attack,” Izo sighed, fanning himself.

 “Huh?” Ace asked.

 “You’re not dead!” Momonosuke cheered, throwing himself at Ace.

 Ace caught him, looking bewildered. He looked at everyone else, then Momonosuke, and finally settled on Marco with a gaze that clearly stated he had no clue what the fuss was about. “No. No I am not.”

 “He thought you died when you blacked out,” Marco said.

 “Oh,” Ace said, nodding. “Yeah, no dying here, Momo. I just kind of black out sometimes. Don’t worry.”

 “Unless he falls in the sea, then worry a lot,” Haruta added. Izo smacked him. “Ow! It’s _true_!”

 “If you fell in…would you drown?” Momonosuke asked. "Because you can’t swim?”

 Ace was about make a joke about it when he saw Momonosuke’s hesitant expression. “Kid, everyone knows a Fruit User goes overboard, someone who can swim needs to go after them. I’d be fine. I trust my crew, and Marco’s.”

“Yeah you’re all really nice to each other. Unless you’re hitting each other. Or throwing things at each other. Because you’re weird,” Momonosuke said.

“Families all have their quirks. And Marco’s crew is one big family of loons if you ask me,” Ace said.

 “ _Excuse_ me?” Marco demanded.

 “I’m sorry, here did _you_ grow up again?” Izo asked.

 “And while we’re at it, we’re all boring saints compared to _your_ crew!” Raykuyo said.

 “Heheh, loons who can’t take a joke!” Ace said, ducking the fan Izo threw at him.

 Izo simply pulled another from his sleeve, “Don’t listen to Ace, little Momo. He’s a terrible influence.”

 “I’m a pirate,” Ace said.

 “We’re all pirates!” Izo said, managing to smack Ace over the head with the new fan.

 “Momo’s not,” Haruta said, one of the rare sensible sentences to pass his lips.

“Okay then. I’ll be a pirate too,” Momonosuke said. It was unclear whether or not that was what shocked everyone, or if it had been Haruta making sense.

 “You want what now?” Ace asked.

 “To be a pirate,” Momonosuke repeated.

 “You’re what, seven?” Ace asked.

 “Didn’t you say Luffy wanted to be a pirate at six?” Marco asked.

 “Are you _agreeing_ with him?” Ace asked.

 “No, just saying. Kids like that stuff,” Marco said. “Momo, kids don’t get to be pirates. They can maybe be cabin boys if they’re good.”

 “What? That sounds boring!”  Momonosuke said. His spoon when flying as he flailed his arms and landed in Blenhiem’s food. “…Oops.”

 “I’ll get him another spoon,” Jozu said, laughing.

 “Kid, no flailing at the table,” Marco said. “And being a cabin boy’s not boring. It’s just pirating for kids. Ace and I were both cabin boys, yoi.”

 “Really?” Momonosuke asked. “Cool! What’d you do?”

 “Chores,” Ace said. “It’s how you pay the crew back for teaching you to be a pirate.”

 “I don’t know how to do chores,” Momonosuke said.

 Jozu came back and gave Momonosuke a new spoon. “Thanks, Jozu.”

 “Well you can learn to do them. My brothers and I were pretty bad at chores at first too,” Ace admitted.

 “Really?” Momonosuke asked.

 “Yeah. Especially mopping. We were such failures at mopping,” Ace said.

 “How does one…fail at mopping?” Izo asked slowly. “I just… _how_?”

 “Never underestimate a D. At anything. Even failure,” Marco said sagely. He ducked as Ace tried to sock him, and Momonosuke laughed.

.o.o.o.

  “I’m surprised you’ve been taking this so well,” Ace said. Marco had gone off to do captain’s work and so Ace and Momonosuke had gone off to find cabin-boy chores Momonosuke could perform. They had settled on cleaning the medical bay since Ace couldn’t be allowed kitchen chores and Momonosuke was too young to let near weapons.

 “Taking what so well?” Momonosuke asked.

 “Cleaning,” Ace said.

 “I never really had to do this before. It’s kind of new…and it’s cool to see the metal get all shiny!” Momonosuke said as he cleaned some buildup off a faucet.

 “Whatever sails your ship, kid,” Ace said, lifting a bucket of water and holding a burning hand under it to heat it up a little more. “So what did you do, back on Wano?”

 “You know…kid stuff,” Momonosuke said, shrugging.

 “Eh, don’t really know that. My gramps let my brothers and I just run wild. Wasn’t until we ended up with the Red Hair Pirates we really had anything structured…weird as hell, but true,” Ace said. He set the bucket down as it started to steam and dunked his sponge in it.

 “So you don’t have parents either?” Momonosuke asked.

 “No, Shanks and Benn adopted us. They run the Red Hair Pirates,” Ace said. “Shanks is one of the Four Emperors.”

 “So you’re a prince?” Momonosuke asked, looking interested.

 “Eh. Kind of?” Ace said, shrugging. “But one day Luffy’s going to beat Shanks so he can be King of the Pirates.”

  “I don’t understand how pirates can have a king. They’re pirates, not a nation or something,” Momonosuke said.

 “King’s more a rank than a job,” Ace said. “For the number one strongest pirate who finds Gold Roger’s treasure.”

 “…Then how does King beat Emperor?” Momonosuke asked.

 “It just does,” Ace said. He had no clue who had been in charge of the made up Pirate Rank Systems. He still didn’t know why all the Warlord were Warlords when some of them didn’t control territory. Kuma didn’t have…anything, really. And Mihawk had a creepy island no one wanted and no crew at all beyond Zoro when Zoro was a kid. Maybe it just made them sound cool.

 “You’re all weirdoes,” Momonosuke said.

 “Oh believe me, we know!” Ace laughed.

 “So what’s your Emperor Dad like?”

 “He’s an idiot. When Luffy gets here you’ll see, he’s totally Shanks’ kid in that,” Ace said, smiling. “Benn keeps him on track, he’s good at that.”

 “Benn’s your other dad?”

 “Yeah. But Shanks is really strong though. Amazingly. It’s….kind of cool but never tell him I said that,” Ace said. He frowned at a stubborn splotch on the sound and brought the water to a boil so he could scrub it harder, “Especially when he pulls his sword out and does stuff like cut a whole ship in half. I mean okay, Zoro and Law can do that too now but I was like thirteen when Shanks did it-”

  “Ace?”

 “Yeah, Momo?” Ace asked, glaring at the splotch.

 “Did….you, you know, you had other parents. Before you were adopted. Cause everyone has parents like that,” Momonosuke said, rubbing the back of his head as he stumbled over his words.

 Ace decided not to argue their obviously differing definitions of ‘parent’ and nodded. “Sure, I get what you’re saying.

 “Did…did they die?” Momonosuke asked quietly.

 Ace swallowed, remembering what Garp and Shanks had told him of Rouge, what she’d done for him. “Yeah.”

 Momonosuke’s shoulders slumped and he put the rag down. “My parents died. On Wano. It’s why I don’t want to talk about it.”

 Ace slowly crossed the room and hauled himself up onto the counter next to Momonosuke. “I’m sorry, Momonosuke.”

 “Sorry’s not going to change it,” Momonosuke muttered. “It was really scary and then…then I’m here and it’s cold and I’m hungry and…then you crazy pirates just showed up and were being so nice..!”

 “Come here,” Ace said, pulling Momonosuke into his lap as the little boy burst into tears. “I’m sorry we crazy pirates were so nice…”

 “Jerk! That’s not what I meant!” Momonosuke yelled, crying harder and hitting Ace with ineffective little fists. “I meant it’s weird because you’re pirates and you’re good people and you’re not trying to ransom me…”

 “Well yeah, it’s not like you’re Reiju. Of course we didn’t ransom Reiju either…we sort of were hostage-ing her to try and make Judge behave…didn’t work…I guess we could ship her to the Navy…wow I have no idea what we’re doing there, I should ask.”

 “Hostage isn’t a verb,” Momonosuke said, snickering though his tears.

 “Eh, drown me. One of my dads thinks ‘dad’ is a verb,” Ace said. “Come on, let’s get something to eat. The dirt will still be here when we get back.”

.o.o.o.

 “You actually wore him out, yoi?”

 “Shh!” Ace hissed. “Let’s keep him that way!”

 “Sorry, sorry,” Marco chuckled, shucking his jacket and heading over to the bed. “Good job. What’d you do?”

 Ace smirked as Marco kissed him, “Well…I may have forgotten what I could do as a kid is not what everyone could do as a kid…”

 “Oh no. _Ace_ …” Marco groaned.

 “We were just carrying stuff for Izo’s division and I forgot little kids can only take ten pounds or so and Momo didn’t say anything because he wanted to be tough and he was already tired because we’d been talking about some stuff and look, I ended up carrying him _and_ his stuff and he’s fine, just tired,” Ace said.

 “Okay seriously, what could _you_ pick up at his age?” Marco asked.

 “Full crates of beer bottles, couple of cannon balls, the bandits’ treasure chests...” Ace mused.

 “Wow,” Marco said. “…Whenever you’re about to hand Momo something, ask yourself if Sabo or Luffy could carry it at his age, okay?”

 “Yeah that makes more sense. So…Momo’s folks were killed by Kaido,” Ace said.

 “What?” Marco hissed.

 “Yeah. He sort of just told me. Why so surprised? We were already wondering.”

 Marco pinched the bridge of his nose, “Yeah but hearing it like that…and with how he gets about the topic, or Kaido, my guess is he saw it.”

 Ace shuddered, “Would explain some things.”

 Marco nodded. Ace has lost his mother, but it had been on the day he’d been born and so he really didn’t…he hadn’t _had_ her like Marco had his father. So losing her wasn’t this huge shock to him, she’d always been dead. But Marco…Marco had watched his father die. Die so he and his friends could escape. Marco had nearly gotten Ace killed trying to save his father but he couldn’t…he just…couldn’t.

 The feeling of helplessness that had snuck in as soon as he’d been able to really process had been just…so painful and yet so empty. Marco’s been an adult, too, Momo was so little…

 “Thinking about your dad?” Ace asked.

 “Yeah,” Marco admitted. “It’s…losing them in front you…it’s…yeah, yoi.”

  “We’ll keep Momo safe,” Ace said. “Come on, there’s a lot of us. I’m sure we can help him, right?”

 “I hope you’re right,” Marco said, reaching over Ace to ruffle Momonosuke’s hair. “I really do.”

 .o.o.o.

  The day had finally come: the _Thousand Sunny_ and _Scalpel_ had arrived.

 “Hey guys!” Ace laughed, running to the docks.

 “ACE!” Luffy cheered, launching himself forward and colliding with Ace as their arms wrapped around each other. Luffy’s arms naturally made several rounds, tying them together. “I missed you!”

 “It was like five days, Luffy,” Ace said. “See? You survived!”

 “You didn’t see him longer when he, Marco, and Nami booked it to Alabasta,” Sabo pointed out.

 Luffy stuck his tongue out at Sabo, “Nyeh, well I hugged him first so he missed me more than you!”

 “I missed you equally!” Ace protested as he helped Luffy detangle his arms. He chuckled as the rubber finally snapped back into place, “Anything happen while I was gone?”

 “Nami plotted some way for us to get back to where we were going quickly but only Bepo got it since she was using tons of special navigator words,” Luffy said. “Bentham’s teaching Bellamy some new kicks to do. Oh! And Koala almost got eaten by this giant eel Usopp reeled in and Sabo punched it in the face and then Jinbe broke its spine!”

 “It was a big eel. We have meat left over,” Sabo added, smirking.

 “Sweet. There’s actually some giant salamanders living in the Burning Lands now. Blenhiem’s been trying to hunt them,” Ace said.

 “So, how’s the babysitting going?” Sabo asked, slinging an arm over Ace’s shoulders and grinning in his ‘I am the smartest sibling and totally know already’ way. “He broken anyone’s bones yet? I remember you cracking some peoples’ ribs as a kid…”

  “I was ten, he’s seven,” Ace said. “And like _you_ could break bones at that age. I’m amazingly strong, remember?”

 “Got that right, yoi.”

 Ace grinned as Marco and Momonosuke caught up. “Hey guys. So, Momonosuke, these are my brothers. Sabo’s the fancy-dressed blonde and Luffy’s the lunatic with the scar.”

 “Hi Momonosuke!” Luffy said brightly. “I’m Monkey D. Luffy and I’m going to be King of the Pirates!”

 “You’ve already told me that,” Momonosuke said.

 “Yeah but he wants to make sure you remember,” Sabo said, tipping his hat and winking.

 “Course I remember. I’m seven not stupid,” Momonosuke said stubbornly.

 “Isn’t he a peach,” Marco joked, flicking Momonosuke’s bun. “Come on, Momo, let’s help everyone unload. The Straw Hats and Hearts have some interesting people, yoi.”

The brother watched them head up the gangplank before turning back to face each other.

  “He’s so cute!” Luffy laughed. “Are you keeping him?”

 “No,” Ace said. “Well, maybe…look, it’s complicated, okay?”

 “Complicated?” Sabo asked.

 “His folks are dead,” Ace whispered. “And Marco thinks probably saw it happen with how cagey he is about it. Don’t bring it up or I’ll roast you.”

 “Got it, got it,” Luffy said grabbing Law and tugging him close for a hug as the other captain made his way down the docks. Law sighed but took it with a tiny grin. “So…do we know what happened with Wano then?”

 “Momo told us some stuff…it sounds bad, guys,” Ace said, sighing. “I’m not sure what Kaido’s doing, but Raykuyo’s division got back from a supply run and he’s apparently been nabbing up Supernovas like crazy.”

 “Really?” Law asked looking interested.

 “Yeah. Apoo, Hawkins, and Drake,” Ace said. “You know Drake, right Law?”

 “We ran into each other a few times in North Blue,” Law said. “His dad was the pirate captain my father stole the Op-Op Fruit from, too. Tsuru picked Drake up from Minion Island and then my father and I.”

 “Oh, so you go way back then!” Sabo said.

 “I guess. Not like we were close or anything,” Law said, shrugging.

 “Weirdo,” Ace muttered. “Anyway, Kaido’s obviously up to something big. Question is, what do we do about it?”

 “Kaido’s an Emperor…like Shanks,” Luffy said. “I don’t know if I could take Shanks yet so…hmm…”

 “If Kaido’s going after Supernovas, we may not have a choice about when we fight him,” Sabo said.

 Ace frowned, folding his arms. He didn’t like the sound of that. “Then we’ll get ready so if he does decide he wants a fight, we can take him anyway.”

 “Yeah! Jinbe’s been training me really well and says I’m almost stronger than he is now!” Luffy said. “And hey, hey, maybe even though the Navy couldn’t take Kaido out Traffy or Robin or somebody else will have an idea!”

 “I suppose brainstorming on how to kill an Emperor could be fun,” Law said. He frowned as Penguin came over and whispered something before sighing and tugging his hat over his eyes. “Portgas, your kid is overwhelming Bepo. Fix it.”

 “He’s not my kid!” Ace said.

 Law rolled his eyes, “Sure he’s not. Now _fix it_.”

 “Creep!” Ace called over his shoulder as he ran onboard to rescue Bepo from what was assuredly a tiny boy who thought a big bear was awesome and therefore needed to be grabbed.

 Sure enough Momonosuke had partially _climbed_ Bepo and Marco seemed torn between dislodging him and laughing. Ace, being the immensely capable young pirate that he was, did both and set Momonosuke down on the floor, “Bepo’s sensitive, Momo. Be gentle.”

 “Thank you!” Bepo cried, hugging Ace before hurrying off. “Captain, wait for me!”

 “Aw, is this little Momonosuke?”

 Ace looked over to see Nami, Vivi, Robin, and Koala leaving their quarters. “Yep, this is him.”

 “Well it’s very nice to meet you,” Robin said, patting Momonosuke on the head as she passed. He stared at her with wide eyes.

 “You’ll have to tell me all about Marco and Ace trying to handle you!” Nami teased. 

 “Like you need more blackmail material, yoi,” Marco said.

 “There is never too much blackmail material,” Nami said seriously. Vivi laughed and herded Nami onwards, offering a little wave to Momonosuke as she passed.

 “So those are the crew’s ladies…except Perona but for all I know she went flying through walls to leave the ship. Again,” Ace said.

  “They have really nice racks,” Momonosuke said quietly.

 Ace’s jaw dropped, “What?”

 “They do, don’t they?” Momonosuke asked, looking confused. “I mean, they’re all really-”

 “Yeah, sure, as far as boobs go they seem great but…where did you learn something like _that_?” Ace asked, baffled. Marco looked confused too.

 Neither of _them_ talked around Momo like that! Ace began mentally going over Marco’s siblings—Izo didn’t talk like that, Jozu _definitely_ didn’t talk like that, the kid hadn’t met Fossa, Namur didn’t even get why people liked breasts according to one really drunken confession…Haruta? No Haruta was dumb but not dumb enough to talk like that in front of a kid, right? It had better be right or Ace was going to need to have a _talk_ with him…

 “Dare I ask where he learned something like that?”

 Ace looked up to see a peeved Koala—she must have heard and doubled back—who seemed to be getting even more peeved at the awed look Momonosuke gave her after looking all the way up her legs to get to her face. Ace shrugged, “I have no clue.”

 At least she wasn’t blaming him. Well, he only liked guys and she knew it so more she wasn’t blaming Marco…though he guessed she _could_ still blame him, only liking guys didn’t really control how he talked, did it…

  _Who taught Momo something like that_?

 “Momo, why’d you say that?” Marco asked, eyes wide for once. “You’ve barely met these nice girls.”

 “I don’t get it,” Momonosuke said. “What’s wrong? They do have nice racks, right?”

 “You don’t just say that to a girl you know nothing about,” Koala said. “Especially at your age!”

 Momonosuke put his hands on his hips and stared her down. Ace wondered if he’d be so brave if he knew what Koala could really do…yeah, probably. He thought Ace was a fire demon and still messed with him. “Hey! I’m seven years old!”

 “Seven is far too young to be talking about ladies’ chests, yoi,” Marco coughed, looking like he’d finally recovered from his shock. “It’s not respectful. Especially when the ladies are pirates who can beat you up...”

 “Speaking from experience?” Koala asked. Ace frowned, glancing at Marco.

 “Thatch and Raykuyo were idiots when we were younger. I was never that stupid,” Marco said.

 “Oh really?” Ace asked.

 Marco nodded at the kid and Ace got it. Marco had been stupid about girls at some point when he was younger but didn’t want to say so in front of Momonosuke…nah. “Well you grew up and learned better, huh?”

 “Ace!” Marco said.

 “Hey, he knows we’re telling him from experience!” Ace said. “Well, you are. Again, not into girls myself.”

 “I thought everybody was into girls,” Momonosuke said. “It’s like…a thing, right?”

 “Oh boy,” Marco said. “Momonosuke, some people are into some other people and some people are not. Who they are into is their business. No, not everyone is into girls. Some people aren’t even into anyone. And you are seven so that’s all we’ll say about that, _right Ace_?”

 “Yeah I think you covered it,” Ace said. Wow, Marco actually looked stressed. That was kind of an accomplishment if he wasn’t also tired…to be fair, babysitting was _hard_.

 “Good. I’m not giving The Talk to a seven year old,” Marco said.

 “What’s The Talk?” Momonosuke asked.

 Koala snickered as Marco groaned. “Um…you’ll get to have it when you’re older, Momo.”

 Ace shuddered. He sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one giving it, either. Marco needed to man up.

.o.o.o.

 After some debating, arguing, and Ace threatening to castrate Law with a fireball (to his annoyance, the surgeon hadn’t even reacted), Marco and Ace finally agreed they all could politely ask Momonosuke to tell them all he could about what went down on Wano.

 “Why do you all even want to know?” Momonosuke said, sitting on the table so his head was level with the older pirates all in chairs. “Wano’s gone. Kaido took it. It’s over.”

 “Because if we know more about Kaido, we may be able to do something about it,” Law said diplomatically. Well, for him, which Marco personally found just a little patronizing but it was better than Law’s usual cold bluntness, at least for dealing with a kid.

 “You can’t do anything about it. It’s Kaido. I’m only seven but I know he can’t die,” Momonosuke said.

 “Eh?” Luffy asked.

 “Kaido’s been captured by the Navy before,” Marco said. “They tried to execute him. Nothing worked. He even attempts suicide for fun, these days.”

 “Between the Navy and other Emperors people have tried to kill him 40 times. No successes,” Jozu said. “Not even Pops or Shanks could do it.”

 “So killing him out. Fine. You can beat someone without killing them,” Jinbe said. “Luffy hasn’t killed a single opponent in all his years of piracy, after all.”

 “Wait, wait, you’re actually going to fight him?” Momonosuke squawked. “Are you stupid?”

 “No, and we don’t _want_ to fight him. That doesn’t mean not being ready if it happens,” Marco explained.  

  “If he shows up you _run_! Or you die!” Momonosuke said, tearing up.

 “Momo-” Ace said, only to get cut off.

 “You’re just going to die!” Momonosuke said.

 “No, we’re not…look, Momo, go to your room, okay? We need to talk about this now and we’ll talk to you later,” Marco said. “This is clearly getting to you-”

 “I’m not going to let you!” Momonosuke said, stomping his foot. “I won’t let you fight him!”

 Law sighed, “Look kid, a lot of us don’t want to fight him either but we’re talking about what happens when we don’t get a choice-”

 “Shut up!” Momonosuke said.

 Law blinked before rolling his eyes, “Going to let you take this one, Ace-ya.”

 “Momonosuke, we don’t talk to people like that,” Ace said. “Come on, they don’t need me here. Let’s go talk about this-”

 “No! You’re not fighting Kaido! He’ll just kill you!” Momonosuke yelled.

 “And we say he won’t, so come on then,” Ace said, picking Momonosuke up and heading for the door. “Marco, come by when you’re done?”

 “Sure,” Marco said, watching the leave.

 “He’s a…real handful, huh?” Bepo asked, tapping his paws together.

 “This is really getting to him. Sorry we asked,” Sabo said.

 “I know why you did, yoi,” Marco said. “I still don’t have all the details but Kaido definitely killed his folks so that’s where at least some of this is coming from.”

 “It’s not like we’re looking for the guy, though, he’s probably going to come looking for us,” Luffy said. “So we’ve got to be ready!”

 “Luffy-ya, he’s a kid. They don’t always understand that sort of thing,” Law said. “To him us fighting Kaido equals us dying and that’s all there is…I’d really rather it not come to that, by the way.”

 “Jinbe was right. Just because we can’t _kill_ Kaido doesn’t mean we can’t _beat_ him, yoi,” Marco said. “There’s a lot you can do short of killing someone and I’m curious as to how some of your skills could work out against him.”

 “Like what? Your crew’s the one that’s faced him before, what should we expect?” Sabo asked.

 “Well, first off, his crew is separated into castes, with each level having a different strength,” Marco began.

.o.o.o.

 “Where’s Momonosuke?” Marco asked as he came in the room. Ace was playing cat’s cradle with some string on the bed but there was no sign of the kid.

 “Needed some space. Let him have the bathroom,” Ace said. “He said he was going to shower, you know, cool his head.”

 “And how long ago was that?” Marco asked. True the shower was running, but…

 “I don’t know? Twenty minutes? I think he’s using up the hot water out of anger,” Ace said. “Sabo does that sometimes. Nami too.”

 “…Have you checked on him?” Marco asked. “At all?”

 “Well, no, been trying to give him his space to be angry and all…I see where this is going, shit,” Ace said, striding across the room and kicking the door down.

 The shower was running and spraying water everywhere, as the curtain was gone. The window was open.

 “That smart little piece of shit,” Ace said, sounding equally proud and horrified.

 Marco raced to the window and peered outside into the snow. “Momonosuke? Momonosuke!”

 “Can you see where he went?” Ace asked.

 “It’s snowing,” Marco said. “No tracks… _Momonosuke_!”

 “I’ll go tell the others and you start looking?” Ace asked.

 “Yeah, sure,” Marco said, turning into his phoenix form as he jumped out the window. He looked around, trying to see if he could figure out where the kid had gone…he wasn’t much of a tracker with Observation Haki, and he wasn’t sure how anyone else was at using it for that but it had to be something…

.o.o.o.

 Everyone had quickly geared up and fanned out to search. Some began combing the base, in case Momo had tricked them and doubled back. Everyone else went stumbling over the mountains in small groups.

 “Momonosuke!” Luffy called. “Momo! Come on out!”

 “Careful not to use your Haki, Lu,” Sabo said “Don’t want to knock him out.”

 “Oh, right!” Luffy said, looking worried. “Well where do we go? You’ve run away before…”

 “Law was right to take a group to the coast, in case Momo tries to make a raft,” Sabo said. “But usually a kid’s instinct is to hide, not to get distance. This is impulse, not planned like with me…”

 “I think Marco and Ace are right, we need to check the mountains’ caves. There’s lots up here,” Koala said. “Momo’s smart, he’ll know to take shelter in one due to the storms. He made it this far from Wano, remember.”

 “Well you’ve got the best Observation Haki of the three of us, what have you got?” Sabo asked.

 “…I’ve got two things up ahead but we might just be running into two of Marco’s crew. It’s hard to tell with all the snow and wind and debris,” Koala said.

 “Momonosuke!” Luffy called.

 “Who are you to call that name?”

 The trio stepped back a pair of tall samurai emerge from the next cave.

 Luffy smiled and waved, “I’m Monkey D. Luffy! I’m going to be King of the Pirates!”

 “And why are you calling that name?” the man in the orange robe asked.

 “Cause Momo ran off. We need to find him!” Luffy said.

 “I see. You will not recapture Prince Momonosuke as your hostage, pirate!” the man declared, drawing his sword.

 “Momo’s not a hostage!” Luffy said. “Wait…Momo’s a _prince_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun! Momonosuke's true past is revealed...to Luffy, Sabo, and Koala, I'm sure the others will be up to speed soon. 
> 
> We have Momo's being a little pervert dealt with a bit more realistically: namely, wondering what adult gave a seven year old those ideas? Kin'emon and Kanjuro are going to have some 'splainin to do. Also Momo's trauma over what happened on Wano. I felt for all the drama of the reveal in canon, the fact of what he knows happened to his dad was pretty glossed over despite being horrifying. Momo is being a brat after Kaido comes up, but it comes from a combo place of pain and not wanting his new friends to get hurt. Kaido is kind of Momo's invincible boogeyman right now. 
> 
> Ace and Marco meanwhile muddle through sort of parenthood and we get a little wordbuilding besides. I loved making the cow joke about the Admiral.


	3. Momonosuke the Prince

 “Momonosuke!” Ace yelled. “Come on, this is serious!”

 He wished he had Observation Haki like Mihawk’s, Haki that could find or keep track of a kid anywhere on an island. Was this how Mihawk felt the first time he’d lost Zoro? Was this how Shanks had felt the first time he’d lost Ace and his brothers?

 It felt like shit. Like being a failure and terrified and there was this creeping dread that felt colder than the stupid snowfall.

 A screech caught his attention. He glanced at where he could sense Marco was flying above him. The blue glow of the phoenix flames was a bit hard to make out in the snow but Marco was clearly changing course. Ace wondered if he’d seen something.

 Ace took a deep breath and concentrated in the direction Marco was moving…

 Momo!

 He took off running, “Momonosuke!”

 The wind picked up, driving the flurries wild and making it harder to see. In frustration Ace started pushing out heat to clear the area around himself. He’d been holding back on using his fire since they didn’t know what shape Momo would be in and too fast a heat shift could hurt him, but if Ace kept the circle small he could cancel it out before it hit Momo.

 Ace beamed as he caught a flash of pink in the snow. “Momo!”

 He ran forward and grabbed the boy even as Momonosuke staggered backwards in surprise. “Momo, we found you! Kid you had me worried sick! Actually with how cold you are I’m still worried sick…”

 “You…you came looking for me?” Momonosuke asked.

 “Well yeah, duh,” Ace said.

 “But you guys got mad at me,” Momonosuke muttered as Ace put him down.  “Marco looked really annoyed…”

 “Hey, come on, he came too,” Ace said, nodding as Marco quickly headed for the ground.

 Momonosuke stared in awe as Marco landed in front of them and changed back to a human. “Bird magic…”

 “Told you I’d show you eventually, right?” Marco asked, ruffling Momonosuke’s hair.

 “Marco, button your freaking jacket, man. You’re not wearing a shirt and I’ve already got Momo’s probably-hypothermia to worry about,” Ace said.

 “Right, right,” Marco said, doing as Ace told him. “Okay so we are…I’m not sure where we are, yoi.”

 “I was going for that cave on the mountain that looks like a giraffe,” Momonosuke said. “But…I got kind of lost. So if you were following me…I think we’re all lost.”

 “I’m pretty sure we’re on a mountain. The ground’s pretty inclined,” Ace mused. “Which one it is, well…up for question. There’s a lot of mountains on this island. On the ice side anyway. Which is weird, given a lot of mountains are caused by volcanos but the lava side is way flatter…”

 “Less musing more moving,” Marco said. “I could try to fly us above the storm and just circle out until we’re back by the coast again, make our way in from there, yoi, but it’d be hard to keep you on my back in this wind.”

 “Plus it’s colder higher up,” Ace said, pulling Momonosuke close to him in order to let his natural heat warm the kid up a little. “Not sure that’s a good idea.”

 “Right. We keep walking?” Marco asked.

 “Yeah,” Ace said.

.o.o.o.

 “Momo’s a prince?” Luffy yelled.

 “…You didn’t know that?” Kanjuro asked. “Then why did you kidnap him?”

 “He didn’t kidnap anyone!” Sabo said.

 “Of course he didn’t, Kanjuro,” Kin’emon said. “The Straw Hat has only been here for a few days. Obviously Momonosuke was taken before he arrived!”

 “Look, _no one_ took the kid. The kid _came_ _to_ our allies,” Koala said. “The Whitebeard Pirates, they were staying here.”

 “If he was not held against his will then why did he escape you?” Kin’emon asked.

 “I don’t know why he left! _Maybe_ he wanted to _build a snowman_!” Luffy said, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. Koala sighed and tugged her hat down a bit in embarrassment.

 “Not like we didn’t go wandering on our dads,” Sabo said. “Think we gave Benn at least a dozen heart attacks.”

“If you were such unruly children how did you not see an eventual disappearance coming?” Koala asked, putting her hands on her hips.

 “Because having been a kid once does not give you childcare skills?” Sabo asked.

 “Yes, a very common misconception,” Kanjuro agreed, nodding. Koala seemed to find this revelation satisfactory and shot Sabo and Luffy and apologetic grin.

 “We do not have time for misconceptions!” Kin’emon said. “Prince Momonosuke is lost in this horrendous blizzard!”

 “Well yeah, why do you think we’re looking for him?” Luffy asked. “Wow. Some people can be so oblivious, huh Sabo?”

 “I’ll say, Luffy,” Sabo chuckled. “Well, Kin’emon, Kanjuro, we’re welcome to join our search.”

 “We shall do so,” Kin’emon said. “Then we shall duel you to make it clear Momonosuke is free to go.”

 “…Well at least you get you shouldn’t duel us _now_ ,” Koala said slowly.

 “Of course not. Time is of the essence here,” Kanjuro said. “A terrible moment to start a fight.”

.o.o.o.

 “Well, you were headed the right way for a cave,” Ace sighed as he melted some of the snow on the cave floor. “Think we might be stuck here for a bit.”

 “I’m sorry,” Momonosuke said. “This is all my fault.”

 “Hey, come on,” Ace said. “We’re not mad…that mad. Look we’ll be mad later, okay?”

 “Sorry I ran off,” Momonosuke sniffed as Marco pulled him into his lap. “But…but if you go to Wano, Kaido’s going to _kill you_.”

 “We’ll see about that,” Ace huffed, stretching out in front of Momonosuke and Marco and setting himself alight. “Just tell me when you’re good, okay?”

 “Got it,” Marco said, shifting his grip on Momonosuke to better wrap his jacket around them both. “Momo, Ace’s crew was going to fight Kaido eventually, you know. It’s not just because of you.”

 “He’ll kill you,” Momonosuke muttered. “Just like he did my parents.”

 “I’m sorry that happened, Momo,” Marco said. “I know how you feel.”

 “You do?” Momonosuke sniffled, peering at Marco suspiciously.

 “Yeah. There was a battle,” Marco said. “My pops died so we had time to escape.”

 “That…that’s what my dad did too,” Momonosuke said, tearing up again.

 “Your dad was a brave man, going up against someone like Kaido,” Marco said.

 “I guess…” Momonosuke sniffled.

 “Momo, I know you’re worried,” Ace said. “But...it’s not the kid’s job to worry about the adults. It’s our job to worry about you.”

 “How can I not worry? I can’t lose anyone else!” Momonosuke cried. “I can’t!”

 “Shh, shh,” Marco soothed as Momonosuke dissolved into incoherent sobs. “It’s all right. It’ll be all right.”

 “Momonosuke, I know you don’t believe me, but we plan to live,” Ace said. “We don’t want to die and we don’t want you to die. We want absolutely no one to die.”

 “Kaido can die,” Momonosuke offered.

 “Okay, we’ll look into that,” Ace said. “Momo, no one wants to die and we don’t want you to lose anyone. I promise.”

 “We’re the adults, kid. You don’t keep us safe, we keep you safe,” Marco said. “I know that’s hard to deal with but…that’s how it is. And we’ll keep each other safe too, all right?”

 “Promise?” Momonosuke asked.

 “Promise,” Ace said. “Not to toot my own horn but I’m kind of amazing at saving Marco’s birdie butt.”

 “I’m sorry; who can kick whose ass here, you flaming pain in the neck?” Marco asked, eyes narrowed.

 “Um, guys-” Momonosuke said.

 Ace rolled his eyes, “Hey, who saved who?”

 “Are you _still_ on about that? For crying out loud, Ace-”

 “Guys!” Momonosuke yelled.

 “What?” they both asked.

 ‘’Storm’s letting up,” Momonosuke said.

 “Oh. Good eyes,” Ace said.

 “Are you done being weird arguing over dumb stuff?” Momonosuke asked.

 “Yeah, for now,” Marco said. “Sorry. Shouldn’t have done that in front of you.”

 Momonosuke grinned sneakily, “Show me more bird magic and I’ll forget it ever happened.”

 “I kind of think we owe him,” Ace said, holding out his hands to take Momonosuke from Marco.

 “Oh fine,” Marco said, handing Momonosuke over. “One flight back to the base.”

 Momonosuke gasped in glee as Marco shapeshifted at the mouth of the cave. “So cool!”

 “Thanks,” Marco said.

 “AH! He can talk with a beak!” Momonosuke screamed.

 “I swear we keep having that conversation,” Ace muttered.

.o.o.o.

 “Well the kid wasn’t anywhere near the docks,” Law said. “Jinbe even took a dip in the sea to look for a raft, see if he set sail. Nothing.”

 “Darn,” Luffy said.

 “You’re, ah, taking the whole Samurai thing well,” Sabo said, nodding at Kin’emon and Kanjuro.

 “I’ve been hanging around you lot too long, clearly,” Law said, shifting Kikoku on his shoulder and idly drumming his fingers on the sheath.

 Sabo frowned at him, “Ace is right, you are an asshole.”

 “This is not new information,” Law said. Penguin did a bad job of smothering a snicker in his sleeve and got a smack upside the head from Shachi for it.

 “Traffy, come on. We don’t need you messing with Sabo because Ace isn’t here to mess with!” Luffy said.

 “That’s not what I’m doing. I’m venting my frustrations,” Law said. “Also I’m worried. As someone who was once a kid on a very snowy island, it’s easy to get sick.”

 “Don’t worry Law!” Chopper said. “I’ve already prepped for hypothermia and various cold symptoms!”

 Law tipped his hat at him “Excellent work Dr. Tony.”

 “I try, Dr. Trafalgar!” Chopper laughed, doing his happy dance.

 “All right, the storm’s letting up so we’ll be able to do a more thorough sweep soon,” Jozu said. “We’ll probably need to check each cave carefully. Momonosuke’s small so he’s easy to miss even with the pink clothes.”

 “Or maybe Ace and Marco found him already,” Haruta said.

 “If we’re lucky, maybe,” Jozu said. “But just in case we-”

 “No, seriously, Ace, Marco, and the brat. Right there,” Haruta said, pointing up.

 “Huh?” everyone yelled, looking upwards.

 They barely glimpsed the phoenix diving for the ground before Ace leaped off his back, Momonosuke in his arms.

 “Ah! Prince Momonosuke!” Kanjuro cried.

 “Oh he’ll be fine, Ace has dropped further,” Sabo said as Ace landed safely. Marco was right behind him, shifting into a hybrid forms that was all human except for his arms remaining wings until his feet hit the ground.

 Marco smirked and patted Momonosuke on the head as Momonosuke yelled, “Do it again!”

 “Maybe after you’ve served your time,” Ace said, putting him down.

 “Urgh, fine I…Kanjuro? Kin’emon?” Momonosuke asked, noticing the newcomers.

 “You’re all right!” Kanjuro said, rushing over with Kin’emon at his heels and the pirates following along.

 “Lord Momonosuke, we’d feared for your safety!” Kin’emon said, shooting Ace and Marco suspicious looks.

  “I’m sorry…’lord’?” Ace asked.

 “Yeah, funny story…” Sabo said, snickering. “Your kid’s a prince.”

 “He’s not our kid,” Ace said. “Wait _what_?”

 “That’s what I said!” Luffy laughed.

 “Did I not mention that?” Momonosuke asked, turning around to face Marco and Ace while rubbing the back of his head and grinning nervously.

 “No. No you did not,” Marco said, folding his arms. He sighed. “But given you were hanging out with a bunch of pirates you’ve only known for less than two weeks, I can see why.”

 “So you’re not mad?” Momonosuke asked.

 “Not about that. You’re still in trouble for running off, yoi.”

 “Somebody’s doing double chores,” Ace added, bending over Momo with a small smirk. “For a week.”

 “Lord Momonosuke is no longer in your care,” Kin’emon said.

 “Buddy, I just climbed a mountain in a blizzard because Momo threw a tantrum and ran off,” Ace said. “Damn right he’s in my care enough to be given extra chores.”

 “We are not _buddies_ , pirate,” Kin’emon said.

 “Well fine then,” Ace muttered.

 “We made an agreement with Monkey D. Luffy on the mountain,” Kanjuro added. “That we would be dueling you for Momonosuke freedom.”

 “…The kid’s kind of already free, yoi,” Marco said.

 “Not like we put a price sticker on him,” Haruta added. Namur shook his head and bonked Haruta on his.

 “Why did you agree to that?” Ace asked Luffy and Sabo.

 “Well it was that or duel them then and we were kind of all still looking for Momonosuke!” Sabo said, shrugging. “…It seemed like the best idea at the time but really is starting to just look unnecessary.”

 “If Lord Momonosuke is free as you say, then you cannot compel him to complete any labor,” Kin’emon said.

 “Buddy do you _want_ me to set your bathrobe on fire?” Ace asked.

 “You know what a kimono is, Ace,” Izo sighed, fanning himself overdramatically. “I swear you Ds are all so intentionally obtuse when you want to be.”

 “I said we are not buddies!” Kin’emon said.

 “ _I_ say I’ll call you buddy if I want and Momo’s doing the chores!” Ace replied.

 “Hey! Don’t I get a say?” Momonosuke said.

 “You’re seven, so it’s going to depend on what you’re going for,” Marco said.

 “Yeah well I say I am doing the chores!” Momonosuke told Kin’emon. “A samurai takes reasonability for his actions and my actions made everybody go running out in the blizzard because I got mad! So yeah, I’m doing the chores!”

 “That’s very responsible of you Momonosuke,” Marco said.

 “I’m very proud of you,” Kanjuro added. “Knowing when to take responsibility is an important part of-”

 “But I still want to see Ace and Kin’emon fight because I don’t know who will win,” Momonosuke said.

 “Oh no,” Sabo muttered as Luffy yelled, “Kick his ass, Ace!”

 .o.o.o.

 After much yelling and scolding from Marco and Kanjuro, Ace and Kin’emon agreed to have a nice, respectable duel that did not destroy the base, the docks, the ships, or too much of the island.

 “Be warned pirate, I have won many duels against mighty foes,” Kin’emon declared, pointing his katana at Ace.

 “Yeah you be warned too big guy. I’ve fought bigger,” Ace said, shrugging as flames started to lick up his arms.

 “Your brother’s control of his fire magic is impressive,” Kanjuro told “But we of Wano have a lot of experience with magical pirates…”

 “Poof!” Kin’emon said, touching his robe. To everyone’s shock it turned into armor.

 “Wait, he’s a Fruit User too?” Luffy asked. “What kind of cool Devil Fruit does that?”

 “We don’t know,” Kanjuro admitted. “But it’s great for disguises or when you’ve forgotten to do laundry!”

 “Armor’s not much use against me,” Ace said. “I’ll just cook you in it!”

 Ace swept a wave of fire at Kin’emon, before leaping into the air and using rapid-fire punches to rain fireballs downwards.

 “You’re very confident in your element,” Kin’emon said. “But my armor is not only what I wear!”

 “His Haki looks decent enough,” Koala said as the fires died down and revealed Kin’emon had coated himself in shiny Armament Haki. “Still, Ace’s might be stronger. We’ll have to see.”

 “Ace’s Armament’s only so-so, though,” Luffy said.

 “I didn’t mean Ace’s Armament Haki,” Koala said as something sparked in Ace’s eyes.

 “All right you want to go? **Let’s go** ,” Ace said, grinning. He rushed Kin’emon.

 “Who tries to just punch a swordsman?” Kanjuro cried, trying to cover Momonosuke’s eyes.

 “Ace,” Zoro, Law, and Perona all said knowingly.

 While Ace’s fire couldn’t allow him to ignore a Haki-coated blade, his Observation Haki and speed allowed him to duck and dodge around it and sock Kin’emon dead in the chest.

 The samurai staggered back and then drew his other sword. “Well, you can work around one sword. Let’s see you handle two!”

 “Ooh, that could get tricky,” Perona said. “Ace can probably brute force through it but he’ll take some hits…”

 “Are we talking scratches or bad hits?” Chopper asked. “How many bandages am I going to need?”

 “Couple scratches if he’s careful…so prep for bad hits,” Sabo sighed. “It _is_ Ace.”

 “I love him but yeah. It’s Ace,” Marco admitted.

 “Have some faith in me, people!” Ace yelled, slamming his hand into the ground as he dropped to his knees.

 “What are you doing?” Kin’emon asked.

 “Superheating really cold ground,” Ace said, grinning, right before the rock they were fighting on exploded.

 “Oh dear,” Robin chuckled. “I think I know why Ace was looking at those physics books a while back…”

 “Superheat something really cold and kaboom,” Franky said. “Totally Ace-bro’s style.”

 The smoke from the explosion cleared, revealing Kin’emon on his back with Ace pinning him.

 “You’re good, man. But my old man’s better with only one arm,” Ace said. “And if there’s one thing I learned watching him and Zoro fight, it’s that a swordsman loses a lot of power when he loses his footing.”

 “You are very skilled, if a bit too prideful in your power,” Kin’emon said.

 “Are you kidding? It took him forever to figure out he’s that strong,” Marco muttered under his breath.

 “I win,” Ace said before hopping off Kin’emon. “Better luck next time.”

 “So can we actually have a civil discussion now or are you going to need to fight someone?” Sabo asked Kanjuro.

 “I’m good,” Kanjuro said. “And Kin’emon, I think this is a perfectly safe place to get our bearings while we try and figure out what to do.”

 “We’re no friends of Kaido’s. Stay as long as you need,” Marco said.

 “Agreed,” Kin’emon said. “We accept your offer.”

 “All right! Let’s have an awesome dinner! We found Momo and made new friends!” Luffy cheered. “Come on Sanji, Penguin, and you other chefs! Let’s have some awesome food!”

 “Lord Momonosuke, where have you been staying?” Kin’emon asked.

 “With Ace and Marco mostly. I mean you guys can use my room but I’m staying with them. They don’t snore like you geezers,” Momonosuke said.

 “What?” Kin’emon and Kanjuro yelled.

 “I think Momo’s power’s going to his head a bit…” Ace chuckled as he joined Marco.

 “Oh hey. You two,” Koala said. “Momonosuke made some…interesting comments when we first met. I wondered if maybe you could explain them to me…”

 “Uh-oh,” Ace said.

 “Oh yes,” Sabo said, pulling out a camera Den-Den Mushi.

 “Oh yeah, Kin’emon says that stuff you got mad about all the time,” Momonosuke said.

 “Oh…he does…” Nami said as Koala cracked her knuckles.

 “Crap. Ladies, please don’t break the base while you break him, okay?” Marco called.

 “We’ll go easy on the architecture,” Vivi promised.

 “Since when is Vivi menacing?” Ace muttered. “Ah, okay Momo, let’s go have dinner huh?”

 “Run along Momonosuke. This won’t be a sight for young eyes,” Robin said.

 “They’re going to kick his ass,” Sabo said.

 “I know. It’ll be so _super_ -hot, Sab-bro,” Franky agreed.

 “Yeah okay, we’re leaving,” Marco said. “Come on Momo.”

 “But I wanna see the fight!” Momonosuke complained as Marco tossed him over his shoulder and started walking.

 “…So now it’s Kin’emon who’s going to need bandages. Fine,” Chopper sighed.

 “I’ll, ah…go prep the operating theater. Just in case,” Law decided.

.o.o.o.

   “Hey, Dad,” Ace said into the transponder.

 “Ace! What’s going on? You guys back in the New World yet?” Shanks asked.

 “Huh? Oh yeah, been back a few days now, hanging on Punk Hazard,” Ace said. “Listen, um, Shanks…Marco and I have kind of been like, babysitting this kid and-”

 “No.”

 “Excuse me?” Ace asked.

 “Yeah, no.”

 “Um, yes we are,” Ace said.

 “Ace I am not even forty yet you are not allowed to make me a grandpa,” Shanks said.

 Ace burst out laughing, “I said _babysitting_ , not adopting you…oh my god _you_ …get Benn on the phone, I need someone _sane_!”

 “Hey!” Shanks yelled as Ace kept on laughing.

 “I’m sorry, what’s going on?” Benn asked, yawning. Ace fought down more snickers—the snail yawning too was so cute!

 “I…Marco and I were babysitting…and Shanks thinks we adopted the kid! We didn’t!” Ace said.

 “Shanks, don’t jump to conclusions, it gets you in trouble,” Benn said.

 “Oh sure. Gang up on me,” Shanks said.

 “Hey, I called to be nice! You totally derailed it!” Ace protested, idly drawing a frowny face in the air with fire. “So, like I was saying, Marco and I have been babysitting this kid and it really…it really made me realize just how nuts we must have driven you. Especially me. Cause this kid’s a brat, like me. Not now-me, I mean but kid-me.”

 “Aw having some trouble?” Shanks teased.

 “A little. Sometimes I wanted to call you to ask for advice because he’s so confusing,” Ace said. “But…he’s a good kid under it all, so I could usually make it work.”

 “That’s all you can do, Firecracker,” Shanks said.

 “I’ll say. Ace, your father here spent _years_ after picking you boys up whining about how he was so worried he’s screw you up since he didn’t know _how to dad_ ,” Benn said, the snail rolling its eyes with an amused smirk.

 The snail suddenly looked apoplectic. “Benn! I wasn’t that bad, come one!”

 Back to amused, “Shanks, you were doing it all the time! ‘Benn, you dad better than me, how are you so good at this? I don’t know what to do! I’m going to ruin their childhoods!’”

 “I did _not_ sound like that,” Shanks said, sounding scandalized.

 Ace sighed, “Dad…you do. And dad’s not a verb. Seriously it’s been what, ten years?”

 The snail shook as Benn’s deep, thunderous laughter filled the room. “That’s what I always said!”

 The snail took on a petulant look, “Done embarrassing me in front of our son now?”

  “Aw come on Shanks, I’ve always known you were a dork,” Ace said. “But…seriously. For putting up with me all those years…thanks.”

 “Ace. Kiddo. I love you,” Shanks said. “Stop acting like it was some huge sacrifice or whatever. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

 “Yeah…I feel that way about Momo too…even if he bites,” Ace said.

 “Maybe you do need to adopt this kid, he sounds just like you,” Benn said.

 “I am not old enough to be a grandfather!” Shanks said.

 “Momo’s got guardians, Benn. They actually got really mad and thought we’d kidnapped him at first…” Ace said.

 “That sounds hilarious!” Shanks said. “Come on, Ace! Tell us all about it!”

 Ace grinned, “Okay, so it all started when Marco and I first got back to Punk Hazard ahead of the others…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for this one, folks! Next time we talk about Wano, Kaido, and of course that most important of places, Zou, in: The Unmentioned Elephant. Probably going to be a oneshot. 
> 
> Kin'emon's mostly in trouble because he let a little kid pick up his bad habits. The girls won't kill him, even if Law thinks they might....smart to prep the operating room just in case. I think he'll learn his lesson and be a valuable ally by next time! 
> 
> So Momo's back and his issues are a bit more dealt with. Not totally, he's a kid who went through trauma, but he knows Marco gets it now and is willing to not do crazy shit like run away when upset anymore. Meanwhile Ace got to show off and Shanks got to panic, what's not to love?


End file.
